When Prince died without a will, years of litigation followed. Aretha Franklin left multiple handwritten wills tucked around the house; fuel for costly fights among loved ones. These headlines aren’t about fame; they’re about simple, human mistakes that ordinary families make every day.
So let's look at what actually goes wrong and how to avoid it. The punchline is simple: one outdated form can override your carefully drafted will, silence breeds resentment, and unfunded or missing documents waste time and money.
The Big Three to Fix This Week
- Outdated beneficiary designations. Retirement accounts and life insurance pay to the named beneficiary even if your will says otherwise. That’s how former partners (or estranged relatives) get paid by mistake.
- No will or unclear will. Die intestate and state default rules decide who inherits, not you. Vague or conflicting instructions trigger disputes, even if a will technically exists.
- Unfunded or lost documents. A beautifully drafted trust that isn’t funded pushes assets through probate. A will no one can find might as well not exist.
The Documents: Get the Basics Right
- Will + revocable trust. Your will names who gets what and who’s in charge; a revocable living trust adds privacy and usually avoids probate (if you fund it). After Robin Williams’s death, detailed trust terms helped, but disputes still flared over personal items; precision matters.
- Beneficiary designations. These override your will. Review retirement accounts, life insurance, payable-on-death and transfer-on-death designations whenever you have a major life change (marriage, divorce, birth, death, move across state lines), and at least every 3–5 years.
- Funding the trust. Retitle accounts and real estate to the trust and update beneficiary forms to align with it. An unfunded trust is a public probate in disguise.
- Storage and access. Keep signed originals where they can be accessed quickly; safe‑deposit boxes can be sealed at death. Use a fireproof home safe plus copies with your attorney and a trusted person. Maintain a master asset inventory and a letter of instruction that explains “where things are” and your practical preferences.
Why Communication Matters More Than People Realize
Legal documents don’t erase hurt feelings. Unequal gifts, surprise trustees, or new partners can spark lasting resentment, even when the paperwork is airtight. Share the “why,” not necessarily the numbers: “We’re leaving more to Alex because of medical needs,” or “A professional trustee will reduce conflict.” Tell your fiduciaries in advance and show them where documents and records live. Silence is what turns minor frictions into lawsuits.
Digital Assets: The Modern Blind Spot
Access is not authority. Families lose crypto, royalties, and photos because nobody can legally or technically get in. Plan for both:
- Access: maintain a secure password/keys inventory and legacy settings for major platforms; avoid ad‑hoc sharing that violates terms of service.
- Authority: give your agent/executor explicit power over digital assets in your estate documents and name a digital executor where available.
Include: email, cloud storage, financial apps, social media, domain names/websites, crypto wallets/keys, subscription/media accounts.
Tax Planning and Charitable Intent
You don’t need a fortune to plan well. For modest estates, state estate taxes, capital gains on appreciated assets, and the step‑up in basis matter. Simple options:
- Specific bequests to charities in your will/trust.
- Name a charity as a beneficiary of traditional IRA dollars (tax‑efficient).
- Donor‑advised fund for ongoing giving with minimal setup. Reserve charitable trusts/foundations for larger or more complex goals.
Blended Families Require Extra Care
Second marriages, stepchildren, and long‑term partners create the most combustible estates. Tools that help:
- QTIP or life‑interest trusts to support a surviving spouse while preserving inheritances for children.
- Pre/postnups and clear separate‑property tracking.
- Specific bequests for heirlooms to avoid emotional flashpoints.
State regimes differ (community property vs. common law), so local counsel is essential.
Why Informal Promises Aren’t Enough
“I promised you the piano” is not enforceable. Handwritten (“holographic”) wills are valid in some states but often sow confusion even when technically legal (see Aretha Franklin). Use properly executed documents, with the right witnesses and notarization, to avoid challenges.
The Risks of DIY Estate Planning
Templates can work for very simple situations: one state, one spouse/partner, no minor kids, no special assets, straightforward beneficiary choices. Get counsel if you have blended families, a business, special‑needs planning, large retirement accounts, real estate in multiple states, or charitable goals. Most DIY failures happen at the execution step: wrong witnesses, missing notarization, or documents that contradict beneficiary forms.
The Power of Trusts for Privacy and Control
Probate is public; trusts are usually private. A revocable living trust manages assets during life and streamlines transfer at death; it doesn’t shield assets from creditors or taxes. Irrevocable trusts can add asset protection or tax benefits, but reduce flexibility. Whatever you create, fund it and spell out guardrails (ages, milestones, or protections) to prevent misuse.
Choosing the Right Executors and Trustees
Pick for competence and neutrality, not just closeness. Consider a professional or corporate co‑trustee if family dynamics are tense. Name backups. Outline decision‑making powers. Most importantly, tell them you’ve named them and give them a roadmap (contacts, document locations, and the asset inventory).
Proper Storage and Accessibility of Documents
Lost or sealed documents derail everything. Avoid sole reliance on bank safe‑deposit boxes (access can be delayed). Use a home safe plus attorney copy; share access details with fiduciaries. Update your asset inventory when you open/close accounts and after major life events.
Reviewing the Estate Plan: A Step Too Many Ignore
Review every 3–5 years and at life triggers: marriage/divorce, birth/adoption, death, significant health changes, move across state lines, major purchase/sale, new business, liquidity event, and opening/closing significant accounts. Every review should include beneficiaries and digital access, not just your will/trust.
Celebrity disputes are just magnified versions of ordinary errors: outdated beneficiaries, silence, unfunded trusts, and missing documents.
Need to Speak with an Estate Planning Lawyer?
If you need help getting your estate plan in place or are ready for an update to one you already have, let's schedule a Legal Strategy Session online or by calling my Edina, Minnesota office at (612) 294-6982 or my New York City office at (646) 847-3560. My office will be happy to find a convenient time for us to have a phone call to review the best options and next steps for you to work with an estate planning attorney.
